Anne Notations

Monday, June 23, 2008

Looking forward

Anticipation is a delicious feeling, prickly and breathless and sweet. It's sex without the hormones.

On a few occasions in the past decade, I found myself looking forward to nothing at all for months at a time; indeed, instead of anticipation I was overcome by dread or the wish to escape. It turned out that at those times I was suffering from clinical depression. The wonders of psychotropic medications, paired with my idol Dr. Aaron "Tim" Beck's cognitive therapy, mean that I am now able to live in a fairly constant state of positive anticipation.

To illustrate, here's what I'm looking forward to right now – and at a time when we are still quaking about our finances, Michael's lack of a job, and Kevin's close call with school expulsion:

Going to work tomorrow. Yes, it's true! During the last several months I have taken on a new responsibility in my job – editing the university's internal Web page of news and events. I still edit publications, as well, but it's the return to a semblance of journalism, now in the online medium that I love, that is bringing me new joy at work. (I also established and maintain this two-page site for families of students.) I go in early; I stay late. I'm never bored.

Heading down I-95 this Thursday evening with my college roomie Gail. (That's us at left in fall 1972. Click on it; see how young we looked! See how little my hairstyle has changed in 35 years!) We'll reunite with the third member of our ’73 trio, Beverly, in Atlantic City on Friday and enjoy a "girls' getaway" that will include a steak dinner at Morton's, maybe a few coins in the slot machines, and a relaxing Saturday night at Gail's condo near Philly, before returning home late on Sunday. I can't begin to describe how excited I am!

The annual July 4th fireworks right down the street from our house, on the beach; they actually take place the night of July 3. Some friends are joining us. I adore fireworks and cookouts and summer nights.

A mini family reunion on July 12, chez nous.

Kevin's neuropsych evaluation on July 29. Please, let us learn something useful to help us understand his challenges and help him navigate his junior year more successfully than the year just past. Please, let there be a way for him to love learning.

Picking ripe tomatoes later this summer from the various plants in my tiny raised garden, above. Let's hope the Early Girls live up to their name. We've already been enjoying the herbs.

The release of this!

The following month, the theatrical release of The Clone Wars!

Anticipation is one way I know I am alive and well (and, the kids would add, just a little eccentric). I want to die anticipating the next great thing in my life. Does that make sense?


  • Hi Anne,
    Visiting again from Ian's blog and wanted to let you know how wonderful those two sites are that you are working on. I had no idea the university had a designated parent site. As the BASC Area Chair for Germany, many parents who are insecure about sending their kids so far away approach me with questions and I of course do my best to respond adequately, but this is a great additional resource.
    I will certainly spread the word! Wish we had something like that when I was at Brown.

    Take care,

    By Blogger cathryn, at Tue Jun 24, 04:06:00 AM EDT  

  • I am glad for you that you are excited about all these things and have that capacity.

    You articulated your thoughts well and got me thinking. I found the opening line to be particularly on the mark/sharp.

    By Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann, at Sun Jun 29, 03:05:00 AM EDT  

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