Anne Notations

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Pity party

I have no right to pity myself on these silent Sunday nights – these nights alone when Michael has returned to Nashua and the kids are away at college. Others – friends, relatives, bloggers, strangers – have lost so much more. I have a house! A (part-time) spouse! I have work! I have, so far, health! I have blue water views and grand cloud pageants in the sky above!

Yet I feel sorry for me.

I have no right to indulge in lassitude, to drift from computer to kitchen to couch like a zombie. Time is precious, yet it rushes through my heedless fingers like water before a drought. I should care. I should get off my ass and seize the day, make hay while the sun shines, turn lemons into lemonade, etcetera.

Yet I'm inert.

I should count my blessings. And, really, I do. Honestly, I am grateful.

Yet on these Sunday nights when I'm alone, facing another week (or two) of being alone, inexperienced in the condition of being alone, I can't pretend to be anything other than lonely.


  • I often wonder who decided that feeling lonely was something that was not acceptable, or that momentarily lamenting the state of your life constituted wallowing in misery.

    It doesn't, you know.

    I also often find Sunday afternoons and evenings to be bone-crushingly lonely; the weight of the hours can seem unbearable until I remind myself that I'm allowed to be lonely. That it's permissible to say that this moment doesn't satisy me. And that the next moment, where I am not lonely, will be that much sweeter for having had this moment of enforced solitude.

    Hugs to you, Anne!

    By Blogger Danielle, at Mon Apr 04, 10:21:00 AM EDT  

  • What is wrong with feeling lonely? It's a desolate place to be I think.

    You have to let your emotions out one way or the other or they will find a way out and it might not be pleasant.

    Hugs to you, and thanks for visiting my blog. Hope you are feeling better with all the crud crap we both have going on.

    By Blogger Have Myelin?, at Mon Apr 04, 06:22:00 PM EDT  

  • There is a difference between ALONE, and LONELY. I think that we get out best ideas when alone; we learn to comfort SELF; we re-build strength and spirit. I guess I could struggle for more attributes for ALONE, but you get the picture...

    By Anonymous Marjorie, at Tue Jul 10, 02:42:00 PM EDT  

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