Anne Notations

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Dopey. Grumpy. Sleepy.


At home on the weekends, I sleep. Sometimes I stay in bed until late morning. Other times I sleep away the afternoons, as I did today in my leather recliner by the front window, snoring like a lawnmower.

My need for sleep at times is tangible, thick, overpowering. I walk around in a fog, thinking frantically: Today I should clean the stove. Today I should photograph those shoes and put them up on eBay. Today I should clean the bird cage. But the chair, the sofa, the bed pull me like spaceships with tractor beams.

I don't feel overcome with sleepiness on most work days. Early starts, activity, and adrenaline seem to sustain me. But: the weekends!

Why am I so sleepy, especially on Saturdays? Is there mold in our house? (Possibly.) Am I just getting old? (Definitely.) Is my thryoid out of whack again? (Fine as of the last blood test.) Depressed? (Maybe.) Is my weight causing all this inertia and fatigue? (I'm sure it's contributing.)

I hate wasting time. I am sick of cold days, gray days, windy days; sick of huddling under polar fleece blankets in my living room; sick of avoiding outdoors. It's April. I want warmth, spring. I want my gardens growing. I want a spring in my step, a gleam in my eye, a song in my heart.

I want my energy back. Two days ago I had my annual checkup. Dr. C said I need to lose 35 pounds by August. Not to look better, although that would be nice, but rather to save my joints, my heart, my blood sugar ... my life. Please say a prayer, or send some supportive vibes. God, please help me. I am sluggish, discouraged, and unmotivated. I don't know how I am going to get the willpower to do this again.

Excuse me. I'm yawning. Is it bedtime yet?

7 Comments:

  • ((((((Anne))))))
    I "know" those Saturdays all too well. Let me sadly say, "You're not alone..."
    Wishing you strength in dealing with the weight issues. I'm going to once again attempt to shed a few pounds but know it wuld be wiser to wait until after Easter.
    smiles,
    Rita

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Apr 05, 07:04:00 PM EDT  

  • Anne, my husband was recently diagnosed with high sugar...he cut out all added sugar from his diet and lost seventy pounds in about six months. Though that is drastic (don't you hate the way men lose) the main point was to give up sugar and white flour. Don't measure, eat when you are hungry but stick with mostly proteins and veggies...it does work...i too lost twelve pounds in the same half a year...better that than nothing...good luck! It is one of the hardest but most rewarding things that you can do for yourself!

    By Blogger rr, at Sun Apr 05, 10:50:00 PM EDT  

  • It's OK to take a Saturday afternoon nap. One of my favorite things about Saturday....

    But I think when the weather warms up it will draw you outside and into activity.

    My doctor has also given me the stern look and informed me that I should lose weight. But how? I'm really pretty active and I don't think I overeat. Puzzling.

    By Blogger Miriam L, at Mon Apr 06, 03:57:00 PM EDT  

  • Wow, you could be describing me, including the weight loss command. Maybe we can encourage each other. Or weep into a hot fudge sundae.

    By Blogger bozoette, at Tue Apr 07, 04:01:00 PM EDT  

  • I was so brain-dead last Sunday (I had no short-term memory) I kept wondering whether I had had a stroke.

    hugs and prayers for you.

    By Blogger Tracie, at Fri Apr 10, 05:13:00 PM EDT  

  • Keep your chin up, Anne. I know you can do it! :}

    JM

    By Anonymous JM, at Wed Apr 15, 10:06:00 AM EDT  

  • Somehow I missed this post. I relate. I get tired for many reasons. I need to lose weight. Depending on when someone has seen me last they'll comment that I lost or gained. I think, like with everything, it's good to be open and honest about it, and to do the needed work.

    It's amazing how much the weather and the light can help with how we feel, as illustrated by your next post.

    By Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann, at Sun Apr 19, 01:50:00 AM EDT  

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